Today my baby boy turned 18 months. He’s officially a year and a half. On this day last year, I threw him a half birthday celebration, and six months later his dad and I gave him an over the top first birthday party. Some may wonder why I put so much emphasis on milestones. A lot of it has to do with the fact that my first son Bryant; Bub’s older brother, didn’t get to celebrate any of his. Three years ago, God gave him life and he died four hours later. Losing your child makes your mind numb. And honestly speaking, I never fully recovered from that. It’s something that I work through daily. On top of losing Bryant, Bub was born with an incurable blood disorder. Knowing that his health is so fragile, makes each celebration that much sweeter; and I take nothing for granted.
Bub, I didn’t plan anything extravagant today… (we’ll save that for your 2nd birthday 😊) but I do have 18 facts for you. These are the things that I need you to know, even if you don’t understand them quite yet:
- I was born to do this. And by “this” I don’t just mean being a mother, but mothering YOU specifically.
- You are my perfect fit.
- You are my answered prayer.
- You’ve been through more in 18 months than children twice your age. That makes me worry a lot about your health, but I know that you’ll be ok.
- I’m still learning, and I’m truly sorry for all the mistakes that I’ve made thus far.
- You are so inquisitive, and I’m absolutely fascinated by your growth.
- I know I give you a hard time, but secretly I’m ok with the fact that you still sleep with me. (but nursing is another story; I’m tieeeed boss.)
- I blame your father way too much for your behavioral traits. But honestly, a lot of it comes from me.
- On that note, please don’t grow up to be an asshole.
- I’m sorry in advance if I ever taint your childhood in anyway. I pray that you never remember the bad times.
- Your bravery makes me so proud, but it also stresses me out.. (because you’re literally afraid of nothing.)
- I know that you’re spoiled. A lot of it comes from the guilt of losing your brother and you having hemophilia, but most of it is just because you’re so damn cute.
- I already have anxiety about your first day of school.
- You pooped in the toilet for the first time two days ago… I cried.
- Your soul is forgiving, and your heart is pure. Please don’t lose that.
- People will hurt you. It’s inevitable.
- Mommy is petty, and I will do my best to hurt them back. Please believe it.
- These past eighteen months have been amazing. Keep making me proud kid.